The Return of
movie is further proof the world is not running out of overgrown boys
who want to see stuff blow up while sexy, exotic ladies wearing bikinis
walk in slow motion.
Vin Diesel is back as Xander Cage – a CIA agent in the secret xXx
program who is thought to be dead. Of course, you couldn’t have a
movie if he really was dead, so we learn he has been hiding out all
over the world riding his skateboard, loving beautiful women and
generally finding ways to fight The Man. However, his idea of being
incognito includes becoming some sort of Robin Hood who wears a huge
xXx tattoo on his neck. Very subtle.
A superskilled group of thieves has broken into the CIA building in New
York City and stolen a device which can control any satellite in the
sky, including the ability to drop it on whoever they might want.
Needing an equally superskilled group of people to take it back and
stop the device from falling into the hands of our enemies, Agent Jane
Marke has found Cage and convinced him to take on the task.
Who stole the device?
Can Xander and his motley crew take it back?
As far as mindless entertainment goes, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage
is entertaining. The reason a character like this exists and becomes
the center of a franchise is because we like to see someone who can
throw a strong punch with one hand while popping off with a witty (or
half-witty) one-liner. This is the movie’s strong suit as Cage
constantly has comeback after comeback and Diesel gets to ham it up
with his machismo and tough guy attitude. It’s kind of campy, but
you have to laugh at it as if it was meant to be so.
Yet, writer F. Scott Frazier doesn’t stop there. He gives us some
comic relief as Nina Dobrev shows up as some sort of Q character who
provides the tech support, Deepika Padukone is the sexy femme fatale
who will trade sexually charged dialogue with Cage and Donnie Yen is
the other leader of the thieves who has enough ability to match Cage
step for step. It’s a very equitable distribution of one-liners
giving almost every single character in the movie a chance to let one
Then, in between bon mots, director D.J. Caruso blows stuff up. It
starts off basic, but exciting. However, Caruso continues to escalate
the action to absurd levels. By the end of xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, you might think he is some sort of combination of Superman, Batman and James Bond.
This movie will entertain you, but let’s not consider it to be anything special.
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage is
rated PG-13 for extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and
for sexual material and language.