Whiteout

I kind of wish they used some whiteout on the boring parts of the script, or maybe over the title of this movie on the list of films the studio wanted to release this year.

Kate Beckinsale stars as Carrie Stetko - a U.S. Marshal stationed at a research facility in Antarctica, which the movie pointedly reminds us is the coldest, most isolated land mass on the planet (Those of you worried this means the lovely Ms. Beckinsale will be wearing parkas and snowsuits the entire time will be pleased to hear director Dominic Sena and the writers still figure out a way to showcase her in her underwear within the first 5 minutes of the movie. This is Hollywood, after all).

The base doesn't see any major criminal activity (Unless you consider bad writing and melodrama a crime), which is perfect for a law enforcement officer who took the assignment to escape the haunting memories of events she wants to forget (Kind of like when you go to a better movie to forget this one).

Now, Stetko needs to take it up a notch when a dead body is found, and it's a murder that has taken place recently. Adding to her difficulties, Stetko needs to solve the crime in a matter of days before everyone is evacuated from the base due to the impending winter, or she could be stuck there for 6 months.

Who has been murdered?

Why?

Who is the killer among them?

Whiteout is a lazy movie with nothing stunning or original to compel you to think about it for more than a nano-second. The four person writing team (based on the graphic novel by Greg Rucka) takes our characters from point A to point B to point C without a great deal of suspense, mystery or mental challenge (Unless you consider staying awake a challenge, which it is while watching Whiteout). The lack of mystery is the biggest disappointment.

The premise is not the worst you will ever encounter, and promises some thrills as these characters are trapped in a claustrophobic (yet, luxuriously decorated) base and face massive danger whenever they go out into the frozen, windy tundra, but the murder mystery never gets mysterious as those promises of thrills become betrayals. Sena and the team never get the audience engaged in solving the crime or trying to figure out who might be the murderer. It's secondary to a chase here, a fight there and weather danger over there, but those action scenes have no meaning or impact.

Whiteout doesn't have clues to tempt and tease us. Even the red herrings are bland and come off more like red dodo birds, while the supposedly shocking gory moments fail to rise above basic shock value. This isn't some CSI: Antarctica with cool visual effects.

Worst of all Sena allows Whiteout to become mired in melodrama, which makes the movie silly. The flashback scenes that haunt Stetko are overwrought and feel like they were taken from a bad episode of Miami Vice. Don't even get me started on all of the nonsensical decisions made by characters audience members know are bad ideas as soon as they are uttered on screen.

Whiteout is a wash out.

Whiteout is rated R for violence, grisly images, brief strong language and some nudity.