Ted

Why can't I buy a Ted teddy bear at the toy store? I realize they probably can't sell these at Toys R' Us, but maybe Spencer's Gifts would undergo a business revival if they put this one on the shelves. Or, just give me an app for that.

Mark "Don't Call Me Marky Mark" Wahlberg stars as John - a 35-year old employee at a rental car company who doesn't have it all together. For the past 27 years, he has been best friends with his teddy bear, Ted (voice by Seth MacFarlane), who came to life due to a Christmas wish. The two live together with John's girlfriend (who is much too beautiful and desirable to put up with this junk), Lori (Mila "I wish she had these low standards in real life" Kunis), as they spend their days smoking pot and acting like 8-year old boys.

Of course, Lori is getting sick of the juvenile antics, and wants John to start being a man, so it's time for Ted to move out (and he gets kicked out faster than Anne Curry)

How will Ted survive in the world all by himself?

Can John sever the bond between them?

Ted promises to be one of the most original, twisted and outrageous comedies of the year, and succeeds 75% of the time. Writer/director Seth MacFarlane and the co-writing team find plenty of moments to go a little deeper, a little meaner and a little more inappropriate than most ever would dare, which is what you wanted when you bought a ticket. Isn't it?

The tartness of the dialogue is what makes you laugh harder than you have at any other movie this year. And, anyone familiar with the horrific movie Flash Gordon will see the greatest jokes ever made about Flash Gordon (which was one of my favorite movies as a kid, but, as I discovered watching it on cable a few years ago, is full of more sexual innuendos and double entendres than any movie should ever be allowed, and more than an 8-year old kid should have been exposed to).

However, Ted loses steam when MacFarlane and the gang decide to go with a more conventional approach. We get a weird storyline about an obsessed fan Ted wants to avoid. Then, we see the typical big crisis that brings everyone together after they all have huge fights that tear them apart. And, some other dude threatens to come between Lori and John.

It's time to laugh a little, especially with everyone freaking out about the health care stuff, so head off to Ted.

Ted is rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use.