Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

It’s like Die Hard if Bruce Willis was overweight, socially inept, clumsy, and kind of dimwitted.

Kevin James is back as Paul Blart, whether you wanted it or not. It has been six years since the events of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and the audience learns it was not happily ever after for our hero (even if the ending gave the impression of everyone living happily ever after because no one expected a sequel).

At the end of that movie, it appears Paul has married the love of his life, Amy (Jayma Mays), but we soon learn she dumped him six days later.

Also, Paul’s beloved mother has passed away in comically tragic circumstances.

The only person left in this lonely mall cop’s life is his teen daughter, Maya (Raini Rodriguez),but she was accepted to UCLA and hasn’t found the courage to tell Dad she is leaving New Jersey (via the highway jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive?).

Blart’s spirits temporarily are lifted when he is invited to attend a conference for security guards held out in Las Vegas, but the fun is interrupted when Maya stumbles across a dastardly plot to steal artwork on display at the Wynn Hotel where they are staying. Held hostage by the evil Vincent (Neil McDonough) and his goons, Maya gets word to Paul, and he realizes he must do whatever he can to save his little girl.

Paul Bart: Mall Cop 2 is one of those films that makes you question the bad decisions in your life.

Why did I buy a ticket to this movie?

Did I really think it was going to be good?

Can I walk out of the theater before anyone recognizes me?

It’s just too hard to find most of this funny, and even harder to find a redeeming quality in Paul Blart. James is among the best in the business when it comes to playing an odd, but lovable character. Yet, James can’t save Paul Blart. Even the teen daughter realizes this guy is a moronic blowhard.

Defenders will claim Blart is just an overprotective father with a decent heart and righteous motivations, but Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is full of silly, idiotic behavior that doesn’t come from a place of love. James, along with director Andy Fickman and co-writer Nick Bakay (James is a co-writer as well, so he has to blame himself for this mess) don’t show Blart’s softer humanity. He’s not a decent guy stuck in a bad situation. He’s an idiot because the tone of the tragedies he faces is played for humor, which stops the audience from developing a sympathy for him.

Led by the ridiculous Blart, all of the goofball characters are over exaggerated to the point of not being human, and, when these comic foils are placed into the middle of a very serious and dangerous drama, the two tones clash and make it even more pronounced.

This leads to a series of nausea-inducing slapstick gags, facial expressions that make you question Blart’s mental state and a disconnection from reality that challenges the best suspension of disbelief.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 leaves us with an emotionally unstable character when he should be cute, cuddly and misunderstood.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is rated PG for some violence.