The Huntsman:
Winter's War

In what is billed as a prequel to Snow White and The Huntsman, but truly is a prequel and a sequel all combined into one (because the creative forces behind this mess can’t even make a wise decision about that), Chris Hemsworth is back as The Huntsman, also known as Eric (Eric isn't as intimidating).

We learn that he and other children in this crazy land have been stolen from their families to be turned into warriors for the evil Queen Freya (Emily Blunt).

Of course, she has this massive backstory about how she was the loyal sister to Ravenna (Charlize Theron), but Freya fell in love and had a baby out of wedlock with a man who was betrothed to another. That baby was a threat to Ravenna’s power, and mysteriously was murdered in a horrible fire.

Now, Freya lives a life denouncing love, and teaching the warriors around her to do the same, but, as he grows up, Eric falls for another warrior, Sara (Jessica Chastain), which leads to tragedy and The Huntsman being expelled from the kingdom.

Then (if you are still trying to pay attention and follow along), it becomes all about finding the Mirror Mirror On The Wall, some dwarves show up and lots of arrows start flying around.

Did you make it all the way to this point in the review? You deserve a prize, and The Huntsman: Winter’s War is not it. Buy yourself an ice cream sandwich at the concession stand to dampen the pain and anguish.

As the narrator, poor Liam Neeson faces the biggest acting challenge of anyone in the film. He has to act as if the words he is reading are exciting and interesting.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a boring, disjointed, horribly told story filled with ill advised attempts at comic relief and sluggish romance that would turn any one of us into a warrior for celibacy.

Director Cedric Nicolas-Troyan and the co-writers Craig Mazin and Evan Spiliotopoulos appear to be patching together three or four different stories hoping you won’t notice how clunky the entire enterprise becomes. Any one of these might have been good enough to be its own movie, but the audience gets flavors of each one instead of a hearty tale (yet, we also get threatened with a sequel, I figured they must have run out of material in this one).

The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a perfect example of a movie where they put so much more effort into the special effects. Goblins, morphing characters and plenty of Elsa-like ice creation might capture your eye, but nothing in the movie will capture your soul.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War is rated PG-13 for fantasy action violence and some sensuality.

114 Minutes