The
Boy Next Door
Jennifer
Lopez stars as
Claire – a high school literature teacher going through a
divorce. Her self-esteem took a major blow after her hubby, Garrett
(John Corbett), cheated on her with a younger woman, but
she’s about to stumble across an opportunity to get her
groove back!
Noah (Ryan Guzman) is the new boy who just moved in next door to help
his uncle prepare for and recover from major surgery, and this kid
looks good wearing his tight t-shirts (and he has a penchant for the
sleeveless look). The young lad is “almost 20-years
old” and becomes pals with Claire’s wimpier son,
Kevin (Ian Nelson), so he’s hanging around the house on a
regular basis (when he is not across the way, exchanging furtive
glances through the windows with Claire in the middle of the night).
Worst of all, Noah will be a student in Claire’s high school
in just a few weeks, but none of that matters one dark, lonely and
steamy night, when the young stud sweet talks his way into
Claire’s heart (and other places).
The next morning, Claire regrets getting physical with the kid, and
realizes the horrible mistake she made, but our nice, kind, charming,
silver tongued, gentle lover next door turns out to be Cuckoo For Cocoa
Puffs!
What will Claire do as Noah’s
stalker behavior becomes more
dangerous and violent?
Isn’t this just one big conspiracy by the rich old guys who
run Hollywood (and the world) to scare sexy women like Jennifer Lopez
away from chasing after young hot dudes?
The Boy Next
Door was just a few steps away
from being the camptastic thrill ride of the year, but you
can’t say they didn’t try.
You can’t go into this movie taking it seriously because it
is hard to believe anyone involved in the production did. Writer
Barbara Curry and director Rob Cohen are doing everything possible to
make The Boy Next Door so bad you love it with massively
melodramatic
scenes, suggestive campy dialogue in all of the right places, dreadful
choices being made by our leading lady (who should know better) and a
leading man who won’t be showing up on Oscar night anytime
soon (unless he starts dating Jennifer Lawrence).
Nonsensical scenes abound as the plot falls directly into predictable,
formula territory complete with Claire having a sassy, inappropriate
best friend (Kristin Chenoweth), plenty of moments when the teacher
worries she will be found out, and close calls with danger as Claire
tries to right her wrong.
Cohen and Curry keep pushing the envelope further and further
over-the-top, but, at times, forget this should be a guilty pleasure of
a film, and present a few dangerous moments that you can’t
laugh at, which just kills the mood and the fun. Frankly, they should
have kept getting crazier and crazier, since that was the acting choice
by Guzman.
Granted, they aren’t tackling Shakespeare in The
Boy Next Door, and I
can’t think of one actor on the planet who could perform this
material at a professional and serious level, but Guzman and Lopez only
make it work when they embrace the badness of it all. Guzman is best
when he gleefully gives too much suggestion to a line, or goes
completely psycho with the look of a rabid wolf in his eyes, and Lopez
shouldn’t try to be a dramatic actress. Her attempts at real
emotion are laughable.
The Boy Next
Door will give you more
entertainment than any comedy in theaters.
The
Boy Next Door is rated R for violence,
sexual content/nudity and language.
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