The Boy Next Door
2 Waffles!

Jennifer Lopez stars as Claire – a high school literature teacher going through a divorce. Her self-esteem took a major blow after her hubby, Garrett (John Corbett), cheated on her with a younger woman, but she’s about to stumble across an opportunity to get her groove back!

Noah (Ryan Guzman) is the new boy who just moved in next door to help his uncle prepare for and recover from major surgery, and this kid looks good wearing his tight t-shirts (and he has a penchant for the sleeveless look). The young lad is “almost 20-years old” and becomes pals with Claire’s wimpier son, Kevin (Ian Nelson), so he’s hanging around the house on a regular basis (when he is not across the way, exchanging furtive glances through the windows with Claire in the middle of the night).

Worst of all, Noah will be a student in Claire’s high school in just a few weeks, but none of that matters one dark, lonely and steamy night, when the young stud sweet talks his way into Claire’s heart (and other places).

The next morning, Claire regrets getting physical with the kid, and realizes the horrible mistake she made, but our nice, kind, charming, silver tongued, gentle lover next door turns out to be Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs!

What will Claire do as Noah’s stalker behavior becomes more dangerous and violent?

Isn’t this just one big conspiracy by the rich old guys who run Hollywood (and the world) to scare sexy women like Jennifer Lopez away from chasing after young hot dudes?

The Boy Next Door was just a few steps away from being the camptastic thrill ride of the year, but you can’t say they didn’t try.

You can’t go into this movie taking it seriously because it is hard to believe anyone involved in the production did. Writer Barbara Curry and director Rob Cohen are doing everything possible to make The Boy Next Door so bad you love it with massively melodramatic scenes, suggestive campy dialogue in all of the right places, dreadful choices being made by our leading lady (who should know better) and a leading man who won’t be showing up on Oscar night anytime soon (unless he starts dating Jennifer Lawrence).

Nonsensical scenes abound as the plot falls directly into predictable, formula territory complete with Claire having a sassy, inappropriate best friend (Kristin Chenoweth), plenty of moments when the teacher worries she will be found out, and close calls with danger as Claire tries to right her wrong.

Cohen and Curry keep pushing the envelope further and further over-the-top, but, at times, forget this should be a guilty pleasure of a film, and present a few dangerous moments that you can’t laugh at, which just kills the mood and the fun. Frankly, they should have kept getting crazier and crazier, since that was the acting choice by Guzman.

Granted, they aren’t tackling Shakespeare in The Boy Next Door, and I can’t think of one actor on the planet who could perform this material at a professional and serious level, but Guzman and Lopez only make it work when they embrace the badness of it all. Guzman is best when he gleefully gives too much suggestion to a line, or goes completely psycho with the look of a rabid wolf in his eyes, and Lopez shouldn’t try to be a dramatic actress. Her attempts at real emotion are laughable.

The Boy Next Door will give you more entertainment than any comedy in theaters.

The Boy Next Door is rated R for violence, sexual content/nudity and language.